Months after the impossibly tragic death of Miss USA 2019Cheslie Tryst, her mother, April Simpkins, speaks out for the first time. She reveals the painful text message Cheslie sent her before she took her own life and shed light on Cheslie's battle with depression growing up. The heartbreaking story inside…
WARNING! This post could be triggering to some.
The nation was utterly shocked to learn the woman who jumped to her death from the 29th floor of a luxury midtown Manhattan high rise building was Miss USA 2019 and "Extra" correspondent Cheslie Kryst.
From the outside looking in, it appeared Cheslie, 30, had it all and was living her best life. The 30-year-old was exceptional in every way, even seen as perfect in many of our eyes. She was a D1 track star in college, graduated with every honor before attending law school & Grad school simultaneously to earn her J.D. and MBA, achieved several honors in her post-Graduate studies, wowed the world during her Miss USA pageant Q&A that went viral due to her bold answer about the #MeToo movement, represented people who needed help in their fight for social justice, often pro bono, and was absolutely stunning both inside and out.
What people didn’t know is that she struggled with depression daily. That battle ended on January 30th, leaving her parents and siblings devastated. Cheslie was the 2nd oldest out of six children.
For the first time since the untimely passing of her daughter, Cheslie’s mother, April Simpkins, is speaking out. For her first sit-down interview, April chopped it up with “Red Table Talk” co-hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Norris about her daughter and what she had been going through.
Being candid, April shared Cheslie struggled with depression since her early 20s. At that time she was pursuing two degrees, so he mother thought school was the culprit as she was working on her law degree and an MBA at the same time.
While she knew her daughter struggled with mental health, she didn’t realize the severity of her struggle because she hid it. Not until she attempted suicide for the first time. After that, she said she and Cheslie grew very close and she wanted her daughter to know she could call her when she was in a crisis. Her mother made sure she got her help, signing her up to see a counselor.
On the day Cheslie took her life, April said she received a gut wrenching text message from Cheslie following a an exercise class. She said Cheslie knew she regularly went to workout on Sunday mornings, so she sent it when she knew her mother wouldn’t have her phone. An hour had passed before April saw the text.
“First, I’m sorry, by the time you get this, I won’t be alive anymore. And it makes me even more sad to write this because I know it will hurt you the most,” Cheslie wrote to her mother.
“I love you mom, and you are my best friend, and the person I’ve lived for for years. I wish I could stay with you, but I cannot bear the crushing weight of persistent sadness, hopelessness, and loneliness any longer,” the text continued.
Overcome with grief, April said she couldn’t read it all.
“I’ve never told you these feelings, because I never wanted you to worry, and because I hoped they would eventually change, but I know they never will. They follow me through every accomplishment, success, family gathering, friendly dinner.
In the message, Cheslie explained how no matter what she accomplished, she wasn’t happy and was always overcome with feelings of sadness and loneliness.
“I’ve never told you these feelings, because I never wanted you to worry, and because I hoped they would eventually change, but I know they never will. They follow me through every accomplishment, success, family gathering, friendly dinner.
"I cry almost every day now, like I’m in mourning. I wished for death for years. And I know you would want to know and want to help, but I haven’t wanted to share this weight with anyone.
“Regardless of that, thank you sincerely for being there for me in some of my loneliness moments without me even telling you I needed you.
“You have kept me alive and ready to face another day, because you answer every phone call and you are there for me at the drop of a hat. You listen to me and care when I tell you what goes on in my life and you’ve always made me feel like you loved me.
“I love you more than any person I’ve ever known. You’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve done everything right.”
This absolutely broke our heart. We can’t even imagine.
In the message, Cheslie also shared her final wishes and other personal information that April decided to keep to herself. And understandably so.
Incredibly tragic. We do find comfort that her mother is dedicated to carrying our Cheslie’s final wishes. Her mother shared she’ll never be the same again and said she’s working on how to handle grief in her life daily.
Prayers to Cheslie’s entire family, friends and fans!
Photo: April's IG
